Back Home

We got back from Paraguay Friday morning. It was a wonderful trip, one I'll never forget. My heart is still there, in that land with these people we have come to love.

They reach out and touch you with a love that's genuine and sincere. They have so little in comparison to our overabundance but they are rich in ways we need to learn. We have a worldview that puts us at the center of the universe, but there are precious people all over the world that have much to teach us.

We renewed and strengthened friendships we made last year. We saw prodigals come back to the Lord with enough tears to fill the ocean. We shared on unity, leadership, and being men and women of God. We worshipped together in wonderful freedom and joy in the Lord.

We worked on the church building - tearing down one wall and building another, painting, carrying bricks and cement, and a hundred other assorted construction jobs.

And we ate - oh, did we eat.

Finally it was time to leave. There were hugs and tears and smiles and sadness and joy at the airport, with promises to write and keep in touch.

Next year we'll go again. I know we will.

God Known By Loving Him

We leave Tuesday for Paraguay. I'm looking to touch God's heart amid the building, painting, worship and fellowship, and to hopefully touch someone else's heart to seek Him and know Him better.

This is a poem by Jeanne Guyon.

'Tis not the skill of human art,
Which gives me power my God to know;
The sacred lessons of the heart
Come not from instruments below.

Love is my teacher, He can tell
The wonders that He learnt above:
No other master knows so well; -
This Love alone can tell of Love.

Oh! then, of God if thou wouldst learn,
His wisdom, goodness, glory see;
All human arts and knowledge spurn,
Let Love alone thy teacher be.

Love is my master. When it breaks,
The morning light, with rising ray,
To thee, O God! my spirit wakes,
And Love instructs it all the day.

And when the gleams of day retire,
And midnight spreads its dark control,
Love's secret whispers still inspire
Their holy lessons in the soul.

It's A Go!

The Paraguay trip is back on again for July 25 through August 4th. Turns out that Sao Paulo, where we would go to change planes for Asuncion, is in the grip of gang violence. We feel God spared us from that. We will be going from Miaim to Buenos Aires, then on to Asuncion.

Even if we hadn't learned of the situation in Sao Paulo, God is good in all His dealings. I was disappointed at first in the cancellation of the trip, but don't want to accuse God anymore of unfaithfulness in His dealings with me. He is to be trusted at all times.

It's a misconception of His innately good character to level accusations at Him in the form of worry, anxiety, anger, depression, and all the rest. Either He's in control or He isn't - and He is. Either He's good or He isn't - and He is.

3 Grands - Mike, Dan and Sarah

Almost Time

It's almost departure time for Paraguay. There will be 18 of us going to the Vineyard (Viña) church in Asunción, the capital city. We built a relationship last year with the church and we have that to link to and build on this year.

Last year we experienced an incredible move of the Holy Spirit in Paraguay; my hope and desire is that this fountain be opened again for all who are thirsty, not only in South America but in our local churches here as well. This was more than the Sunday morning blessing, more than a "touch" from the Lord; this was the manifested Presence of a holy and loving God fellowshipping with His people in power and great glory.

Our ministry focus will be on becoming men and women of God and on unity in the body. People in the church are mostly all very young - teens and very early twenties - with some 30-somethings scattered around. The only married couple is the pastor and his wife.

Please pray for open hearts and the ministry of the Holy Ghost. I'll surface again when we get back.


Nick

Still Alive

I'm still alive, and I haven't retired from globbing. If you've been coming by, then thanks a lot.

I've been biking and walking a lot, studying classical guitar (I need to get serious and learn all the notes on the fingerboard instead of just the first 3 frets), trying to revive my calligraphy, reading, and enjoying all this free time with my beloved. We were always best friends, and now it's even better. Some people ask if she ever gets tired of having me around and she says "Heck no, we waited 40 years for this."

We're busier than ever in our latino church since the pastor is away for 2 weeks on vacation. And we're preparing to return to Paraguay the last half of next month.

Went to Promise Keepers with my younger son. PK is a great thing for fathers and sons to do together.

Our youngest granddaughter is coming for a week, so we'll keep Charlotte's restaurant and movie industries gainfully employed during that time. I probably won't post during that time, and I won't post during the Paraguay trip. But I'll be back in August.


Nick

The Warrior

After I retired I was cleaning out drawers and cabinets and came across this poem that I had written years ago. It correctly states, I think, the nature of the battle we are in, which begins with the transformation of character, as per Proverbs 16: 32: "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city." I can't say the battle is over, which could be inferred from the end of the poem - it's an ongoing, uphill climb, but there are new victories every day as I relinquish control and and stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.

I stand amid the carnage of a battle fierce and strong;
I am wounded, I am weary, and the fight is oh, so long.
The smoky pall of battle hangs o'er the bloody field,
The rubble and the ruin lie where the battle raged and reeled.

The fallen here are many, the field is filled with blood;
The enemy has come in like a mighty, swelling flood.
A mighty, swelling army, and I cannot prevail;
Advancing, riding o'er me; I fall and surely fail.

But I look out throught the rubble, through the wreckage and the strife
And I see one fighting for me - He is fighting for my life.
Above the noise of battle, this battle fierce and strong,
I can hear a measured cadence as the Warrior sings His song.

As I gaze out through the pallor of the battle's bloody tide
I can see that He is wounded in His hands and feet and side.
But death could never hold Him, it could never be His loss;
On high He holds a banner, on the banner is a cross.

In His hands He holds a sword of burnished, gleaming steel;
The enemy lies fallen as He thrusts it where He will.
The enemy lies fallen, each in their killing place;
As I look out through the pallor I can see each has my face.

The enemies within me that used to rage and roar
Are fallen now forever; I'll fight with them no more.
Stilled, the noise of battle, dead my raging foe,
Conqueror, my Captain; His I am, I know.

The war is finally over, the smoke of battle clears;
The Warrior binds my wounds and dries away my tears.
We walk away together from the battle's heat,
Arm in arm forever - His victory is sweet.

"If it be bliss, as it really is, to possess all that we desire and wish, the individual that possesses true godliness must be truly blessed, because he unites his will with God's which is always accomplished. Formerly he was pained and tormented in the infernal flame of his own will, which rendered him so frequently dissatisfied. One thing or another was always wrong, in the opinion of his perverse self-will. He writhed and agonized day and night, within himself, in doleful apprehension, care, grief, uneasiness, and anxiety, like a gnawing worm to the injury of both body and soul. Now he has entirely and unconditionally resigned his will in the exercise of real faith, and thorough self-denial, into the hands of God, in such a manner that the will of God alone influences and operates in him, by which the soul is placed in a tranquil and very peaceful state."

~Gerhard Tersteegen

Soil not thy plumage, gentle dove,
With sublunary things,
Till in the fount of light and love
Thou shalt have bathed thy wings.

Shall nature from her couch arise
And rise for thee in vain?
While heaven, and earth, and seas, and skies,
Such types of truth contain?

See - where the sun of Righteousness
Unfolds the gates of day:
Go - meet Him in His glorious dress
And quaff the orient ray.

There, where ten thousand seraphs stand,
To crown the circling hours -
Soar thou - and from that blissful land
Bring down unfading flowers:

Some Rose of Sharon, dyed in blood,
Some spice of Gilead's balm,
Some lily washed in Calvary's flood,
Some branch of heavenly palm!

And let the drops of sparkling dew
From Shiloh's spring be shed,
To form a fragrance fresh and new,
A halo round thy head.

Spread thou thy plumes of faith and prayer
Nor fear to wend away,
And let a glow of heavenly air
Gild every earthly day.

~Brydges

Song Of Love

I wrote this poem on the occasion of a friend's wedding some years ago. It brings out a wonderful truth.

God took a rib from Adam's side
And fashioned for His man a bride.
Adam took her for his own -
Flesh of flesh and bone of bone.

'Twas but himself he found in her,
'Twas but herself she found in him;
And so the two became as one -
Like vale and hill, like tree and limb.

An echo of that love is here-
A woman and a man daw near;
Each finds themself within the other -
The two are one in one another.

From his side - his heart - it seems
He finds in her his hopes and dreams.
But his love doesn't stand alone -
His hopes and dreams are her very own.

But now we see another bride,
Another man with wounded side;
Everything He has He gives -
She takes the gift of life and lives.

He walks to you on wounded feet;
Without you He'll not be complete.
Come, be married to the Son -
Where there were two - let there be one.

Buy The Field

"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field." (Matt 13:44)

The man in the parable bought the field in order to have the treasure. The treasure exists not on its own but in the context of the field. We must purchase the field if we are to have the treasure.

The field represents various things - the Word, the church, and life itself.

We must immerse ourselves in the Word to find all the riches of the treasures that are in Christ. The written Word is God's full revelation to man. Never can we trust in voices and leanings and illuminations, as good as they are, to guide us into truth. Every impression we have must be held up to the Word and be tested whether it be true or not. Nor can we leave it totally to others to teach us - the Lord will be our teacher. He that wrote the book will disclose it to us.

We must buy the church and bury ourselves in it to have the treasure of Christ in all His glory. This thing is bigger than any one of us; we need each other and must love and care for one another. We must expose ourselves to all the problems that come with the church - people that aren't like us, people with problems, people with different backgrounds and viewpoints, people that don't necessarily care for us all that much.

How do we grow? By loving and caring and tending and going out of ourselves and learning to love. By feeding and being fed, by opening up our lives to others, by weeping with those that weep and rejoicing with those that rejoice. By considering others as better than ourselves, by honoring the least among us. By coming together in committed relationship, by reaching out together, by being intentional in our love for one another. Church is family - you don't get to choose your family, and you don't get to choose your brothers and sisters in Christ. And you don't get to walk away from them when they do something you don't like.

We must see our entire lives - every day, even the cloudy ones - as being in His loving care. We all love the mountain top, but David knew that we walk through valleys, and said "For thou art with me." To find out that the Lord is with me even in the valley of the shadow of death is one of the greatest things we can know. That will take us beyond cotton candy Christianity into substance and truth.

It's Official

I'm retired - happened yesterday.

I got taken out to lunch every day this week, and Pat and I are celebrating with dinners out, so I'm a little full.

But I'm also full of hope and expectation, to be able to do the things that mean the most to me. First and foremost is serving the Lord. There are so many things we want to do and now we'll have ample time for them (like during daytime hours, without having to sandwich them between supper, walking the dog, and mowing the lawn).

We're gearing up to go back to Paraguay in July. That was such an eventful trip last year and we're looking forward with great anticipation to what God will do there on this next trip.

I plan to be more active than my work-life schedule permitted, and to pursue my hobbies of calligraphy, studying classical guitar, and increasing my Spanish vocabulary. We'll be visiting grandkids, going to the beach and - did I mention finally getting enough sleep?

They Left Their Nets

When Jesus called the disciples and said to them "Follow me," they left their nets, their boats, their jobs, and their families. What was there about this Man that caused them to forsake all?

Was it something in His voice? His eyes? His face?

Isaiah says that He had no form nor comeliness that we should desire Him. He was as a root out of dry ground. No one except John the Baptizer recognized Him at the Jordan.

Yet He was so attractive to those He called that they immediately and without a second thought left their livelihood to follow this itinerant preacher.

When He speaks to your heart, all else will pale in comparison. His beauty and His love outshine the sun. It is as the sun rising in the eastern sky, dimming all lesser lights in the stars and the moon.

Listen for His voice - He is calling to whosoever will. He is calling you. Not to religion or doctrine or creed, but to Himself, the bright and morning star, the light of the world. No experience compares to knowing Him and walking with Him.

Let Him be your light, your love, your all. You'll never regret it.

East and West

"As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us." (Psalm 20:12)

Ever wonder how far the east is from the west? They never meet. (Remember the old adage "East is east and west is west and never the twain shall meet?")

If I walk out the door and head north, eventually I'll reach the North Pole. If I keep on walking I'll then be going south.

But if I start walking east I could walk forever, and never end up going west. North and south meet at the poles but east and west never, ever meet.

That's how far God has removed our sins from us. They will never be connected to us again. The blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin. His blood doesn't just cover our sins, only to need covering again the next year as in the Old Testament; the blood of Jesus washes our sin away.

Can God forget anything? How could the all-wise and all-knowing God ever forget anything? But He can and He does: "I will forgive their iniquity and I will remember their sin no more." (Jer 31:34).

Paul directs the book of Ephesians to the "saints" that are in Ephesus. Are we afraid to call ourselves saints? Yes, we are. We're like Paul when he said he was the chiefest of sinners; it's not bad to see ourselves that way - certainly, the longer I walk with the Lord the more I see my own depravity - but we need to see things from God's viewpoint, too. He doesn't see our sin. He doesn't remember our sin. He has forgotten them. He doesn't have a book with all our sins recorded by our names - the blood of Jesus has washed them all away.

Paul, who killed Christians prior to his conversion, said he served God with a clean conscience. We can have the same clean conscience before God, knowing that God not only forgives, but He forgets.

Tozer: The Friends of God

The Friends of God Scripture
What a difference it makes when we cease being general (a dodge, incidentally, for pseudo-humility and unbelief) and become pointed and personal in our approach to God. Then we shall not fear the personal pronoun, but shall with all the friends of God relate it to the One who gave it and claim each one for himself the Person and work of the Triune God. Then we shall see that all that God did was for each of us. Then we can sing: For me Thou didst cover Thyself with light as with a garment and stretch out the heavens like a curtain and lay the foundations of the earth. For me Thou didst appoint the moon for seasons and the sun knoweth his going down. For me Thou didst make every beast of the earth after his kind and every herb bearing seed and every tree in which is the fruit of a tree. For me prophet wrote and psalmist sang. For me holy men spake as they were moved by the Holy Spirit. For me Christ died, and the redemptive benefits of that death are by the miracle of His present life perpetuated forever, as efficacious now as on the day He bowed His head and gave up the ghost. And when He arose the third day it was for me; and when He poured out upon the disciples the promised Holy Spirit it was that He might continue in me the work He had been doing for me since the morning of the creation.

Limping, Leaning, Learning, Loving

"Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of the Lord Jesus might be made manifest in our body." (2 Cor. 4:10)

The Christian life is one of continual growth and change - we go from strength to strength, from faith to faith, from glory to glory. New life should be continually springing forth.

In order for new life to issue forth, there must be death, and that is a continual process also - "always" bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus. We should never reach the point where we become secure, satisfied, and set in our ways. This continual dying is the result of wanting to be like Him, of seeing ourselves in the light of His love and mercy as poor and unworthy sinners. This should repeatedly lead us to new and fresh repentance.

I raised my children to be independent of me, to be able to function in the world without me - to know how to complete a task, hold down a job, treat their spouse, drive a car, pay the bills, and all the other things that go into that. And now they do in fact live on their own and no longer need my provision or my care or my oversight.

But it is not that way in God; we should continually grow in dependence on Him. I wanted to grow more and more holy so I would not have to keep running to Jesus for forgiveness; but the more I am in this Way the more I come to realize the extent of my own wretchedness and my continual need for forgiveness and cleansing by the blood. "Always - always - always" bearing about that dying.

I thought I had learned the principles of the faith and knew the scriptures pretty well. But that kind of knowledge can actually lead to a separation from God. I have been learning lately that I need to allow the Lord to continually speak to me through His Word; I cannot walk alone in my own understanding. When the psalmist speaks of gaining understanding, he is referring to God's understanding, not our own.

This continual dying is to self, but it is not self-centered; that can tend to self-glorification and further separation from God. Paul calls it the "dying of the Lord Jesus." Everything must be His, and for Him, nothing of self. Oh, how self loves to get the glory, even in dying out.

How do I get more of His life? By dying to more of my own, in everything. That should lead to increasing dependence on Him. God smote Jacob on the thigh so that he halted the rest of his life. We do not become great for God, but great in God - limping, leaning, learning, loving, losing all to gain Him.

I See A Man

I see a man opon a tree,
I see His life expiring;
From heaven He came to win my soul,
His pursuit of me untiring.

I hear Him with His dying breath
Forgive the ones who slay Him;
How could a man in such a state
Pardon those who betray Him?

Such condescending love I see,
I feel my cold heart waking;
As He hangs there opon the tree
'Tis moved to thorough breaking.

His now I am, and His alone;
None other can e'er claim me.
I'll follow on where'er He goes,
Even if He slay me.

The bleeding love of Calvary,
Full measure of devotion;
'Tis higher far than mountains
And deeper than the oceans.

He Is Not A Tame Lion

Oh, He has answered my prayers, and He has provided, and He has blessed. But He is not a tame lion. Through all that He has inexorably worked toward His own purpose and His own goal in my life. I haven't been able to put Him in a cage. I haven't been able to crack the whip. I haven't been able to make Him jump through hoops.

He is a Savior and a Friend, but He is also a Lord and a King and a Judge, too. He is gentle and He is strong. When Aslan walked towards them in "The Magician's Nephew," the children could not hear him walking because the pads on his feet were so soft, but the ground shook underneath him. That is not a tame lion.

He will not be satisfied with second best, with half way, with good enough, with less than perfect. He is bound and determined to see His image formed in my life - in our lives. He continues to prod and to poke at areas in my life that are not pleasing to Him. He doesn't say "Well, now, I suppose that's alright the way it is." No - only the best will do for Him.

Sometimes I wish I could tell Him that I'm happy with myself the way I am now. I've had more than a few years of being reminded of my weak points and my sins and my shortcomings. A tame lion would accept that. But He is not a tame lion. The devil may be like a roaring lion, but our heavenly Aslan is the Lion of the tribe of Judah, and He shall see His reward and be satisfied.

The north wind continues to blow, the wind of judgement and reproof. We must be as willing to hear that from Him as we are to hear "I love you," "well done," "come unto me and rest." The Bible says that the judgments of the Lord are in all the earth; let us receive His judgements and accept them and say "Yes, Lord - I know that's the way I am. Change me and make me to be like you." "Purge me with hyssop, wash me and I shall be whiter than snow."

Aslan took Edmund off and talked to Him; we're not told what they talked about. We are assured that Aslan was stern but not angry, but we don't know what He said.He will likewise deal with each of us in the depths of our own hearts and say things to us that are just for our ears. May we hear what He is saying to us. May we take it to heart. May we be changed like Edmund was changed.

He gave His life for us. He shed His blood for us. He went to Hell for us. He rose again for us. Let us welcome His words to us and be changed.

By Him And For Him And For His Pleasure

"For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or prinicpalities, or powers, all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist." (Col. 1:16 and 17)

I have spent all the time I care to spend arguing about creation versus evolution. I find that these discussions focus only on the material realm, since that is all the evolutionists care about, and never take into consideration the whole spectrum of the invisible creation. Of course, "scientists" would dismiss that out of hand since invisible things can't be seen. But invisible things are more real than seen things because they are eternal and will never fade, rot, rust, or decay.

The "creation or evolution" discussions don't get past the question of "Did God create everything" and look into the fact that it was Jesus who did the creating. When God does anything, He does it by His Son. We come up short in God if we leave Jesus out of any equation. Everything is by Him and for Him. Let Christ be magnified in all we say and do.

And Jesus didn't just create everything and leave it free to develop on its own. He didn't just cause the initial creation and then withdraw from His creation to watch it from afar. No, by Him all things consist. He holds all things together. He has been forever involved on an intimate basis with each aspect of His creation. Never for a second has He taken His hand off that which He created. The atom spinning wildly, the neutrons and protons, are all held together by the word of His power. Were He to remove His hand it would all spin out of control and universal chaos, disruption and meltdown would ensue.

That alone probably answers the questions about where did the dinosaurs go and how did the moths change and where's the missing link and all that, although I don't feel like pursuing that now. It's enough for me to know that He is in control.

Moreover, John the Revelator tells us that all things "are and were created for His pleasure." (Rev. 4:11) (I think I'll have to think about the "are" part in that verse a lot more before I even begin to understand it; is He still creating?) Evolution gives no reason for existence; the creation story in its entirety gives the best reason possible - its all for the Lord's pleasure. There is no better reason to live for than that. He must take pleasure in the sunrise and the sunset, in the bird's song and the falling snow. He must take pleasure in the chipmunk with his cheeks stuffed full of treasure and my dog dancing in circles to greet me when I come home every day. He must take pleasure in the grand sweep of the Rocky Mountains and the vast array of stars and planets and nebulae and galaxies.

And He takes pleasure in His people - He sings over us, He rejoices over us, He shouts over us. Shout to the Lord all the earth, let us sing, honor and majesty, praise to our King. Nothing compares to the treasure I have in You.

The light from the low-hanging clouds is gray at best. The ground is sodden from the seemingly continual dripping of rain, and the air is chilly and damp.

A far cry from a few weeks ago when we were in the height of the holiday season. Two months of bright colors, tantalizing food, beautiful music and high expectations came crashing to a close on January 2nd and the new year began in earnest. Now there's no holiday in sight until May and life couldn't be more ordinary. No decorations, no Christmas cookies and candies, no carols - this is indeed the "bleak mid winter."

This is always the hardest time of year for me, perhaps because I enjoy Christmas so much. Every year I'm hit with the reality of reality, right in the face. (If that's not you, I'm sorry to drag you into my misery.)

But just imagine if there were no miraculous birth to celebrate. Then all of life would be like this mid-winter stretch from January to springtime. Life would be nothing but work and bills and ... what? Certainly not the truth we know that there came One in the midst of the drabness and despair of the human condition to raise us above it.

Maybe Christmas is a gift to make us think how all of life should really be - impregnated with the Presence of the Holy One. Oh, it's not the tree or the cards or the lights or the food - it's Jesus. Christmas is a kind of earnest, a light in the darkness, to let us know that He makes all of life to shine.

Shine on me, Light of the World.

He is come, He is here, He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. Seasons come and seasons go, but the Faithful One is with us forever.