Limping, Leaning, Learning, Loving

"Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of the Lord Jesus might be made manifest in our body." (2 Cor. 4:10)

The Christian life is one of continual growth and change - we go from strength to strength, from faith to faith, from glory to glory. New life should be continually springing forth.

In order for new life to issue forth, there must be death, and that is a continual process also - "always" bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus. We should never reach the point where we become secure, satisfied, and set in our ways. This continual dying is the result of wanting to be like Him, of seeing ourselves in the light of His love and mercy as poor and unworthy sinners. This should repeatedly lead us to new and fresh repentance.

I raised my children to be independent of me, to be able to function in the world without me - to know how to complete a task, hold down a job, treat their spouse, drive a car, pay the bills, and all the other things that go into that. And now they do in fact live on their own and no longer need my provision or my care or my oversight.

But it is not that way in God; we should continually grow in dependence on Him. I wanted to grow more and more holy so I would not have to keep running to Jesus for forgiveness; but the more I am in this Way the more I come to realize the extent of my own wretchedness and my continual need for forgiveness and cleansing by the blood. "Always - always - always" bearing about that dying.

I thought I had learned the principles of the faith and knew the scriptures pretty well. But that kind of knowledge can actually lead to a separation from God. I have been learning lately that I need to allow the Lord to continually speak to me through His Word; I cannot walk alone in my own understanding. When the psalmist speaks of gaining understanding, he is referring to God's understanding, not our own.

This continual dying is to self, but it is not self-centered; that can tend to self-glorification and further separation from God. Paul calls it the "dying of the Lord Jesus." Everything must be His, and for Him, nothing of self. Oh, how self loves to get the glory, even in dying out.

How do I get more of His life? By dying to more of my own, in everything. That should lead to increasing dependence on Him. God smote Jacob on the thigh so that he halted the rest of his life. We do not become great for God, but great in God - limping, leaning, learning, loving, losing all to gain Him.