My Testimony

I was raised in a wonderful home, with thoughtful, kind and loving parents. I had no disadvantages.

I never gave God a second thought (let alone a first thought). I went to Sunday School for the majority of my childhood and youth but saw no connection or relevance to my life. I said that God wasn’t dead because there never was a God that could die.

I married the love of my life and adopted her two wonderful sons. We had a daughter who was born with a near-terminal condition; she required surgery at six days old. The doctor at Mt. Sinai Hospital in Manhattan gave her a twenty percent chance of survival – he said it was going to be risky and “bloodier than hell.” He gave us a day to prepare ourselves.

That night, I prayed for the first time in my life. I felt nothing except the utmost powerlessness to control and keep the one thing I wanted more than anything else in the world – that little girl. After four hours of surgery the doctor told me "You’ve got your little girl back, and she’s just beautiful. " The condition he had seen on the X-Ray had changed, and he was able to operate successfully.

We then knew that God was real, and we tried to follow Him as best we knew how. We never equated Jesus with God, and still saw no relevance of Jesus to daily life.

One night a year and a half later, as I was going to sleep, I heard the name of Jesus in my ear three times – “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.” When I woke up the next morning I felt I was inside a cocoon – a covering of peace, comfort, love and joy. Sitting at my desk that morning at Chase Manhattan Bank’s operations center in downtown Manhattan, trying to solve a data flow problem and wondering what all was happening to me, He spoke to me again, this time from within, and said “I am Jesus.”

I’ve never heard voices before or since, but that made sense to me – if Jesus were real, this is what He’d be like.

I went to my normal lunch of hamburgers and beer with my buddy, but found for some strange reason that beer had lost it’s attraction to me. This was strange because there wasn’t anything I liked more than beer. (Although I wouldn’t admit it at the time, my drinking had gotten out of control; once I started, I couldn’t stop. I had woken up twice someplace not able to remember how I got there.)

I had to go to my own promotion party that evening after work. I didn’t even want the scotch I would normally order, even though my co-workers were hosting me at my own party. Free drinks and I didn’t want them! I drank one, feeling pressure to fit in with the group. I left the party as soon as socially acceptable.

That evening I told my wife “Wait ‘til you hear what happened to me today.” She said “No, honey, let me tell you what happened to me – Jesus came into my heart today.”

From that day to this I realize that Jesus is a person whom I can know, who loves and accepts me regardless of my condition and attitude toward Him. I didn’t have to change myself to be accepted by Him – He loved me first and made changes Himself. That kind of love gives me a desire to follow Him with everything I have.

That which I first sensed without now resides within - a living Presence, Jesus walking and talking with me. His love, peace and joy flood my soul and bring me happiness and contentment. Circumstances may change but Jesus continues to bathe my soul in His love.

By and large, I haven’t found churches to be understanding of the living Jesus revealed to my heart; they prefer to talk about Him than to walk with Him. But I can say that He has been with me all the way and is every day more precious.

If you need help or need a friend, I recommend this man. All He asks is some room in your heart. It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re religious or have a problem - He’s happy with a stable if He can’t have an inn. He'll change it into a palace.